Friday, October 07, 2005

My name is Dipshit and I'll be your waiter for the evening...

Ick.

I went for dinner by myself because I decided impulsively that I wanted a steak at a place I like and it was too late to call anyone. I was disappointed when I arrived and saw the menu had changed drastically, but I ordered something anyways.

Then the cheesy waiter started in: "How're thing's love? Is anyone joining you, hon? Would you like a drink, hon? How's your salad, hon?"

I kept wondering if I was sitting across from a guy would WaiterBoy have been so quick to drop the "hons" on me.

It annoyed me even more because he was 25 at the most and I don't know...it seems a little presumptuous to me to be going up to single women in their thirties and calling them "hon."

Anyways, after about the 7th time it set my teeth on edge and on the 8th time he called me "hon" I looked at him and said, "You know, SWEETIE-PIE, normally I don't allow anyone to call me hon all night until AFTER we've had sex, so if you want to whip it out, we can go at it.... or you can stop calling me hon."

He went bright red, mumbled an apology about how sorry he was for offending me, and then got the busboy to serve me for the rest of my meal. And the funny thing is, I wasn't offended for some great feminist reason...I was offended because it was like being forced to spend the evening with Ryan Seacrest.

6 comments:

Bobby said...

Spending the night with Ryan Seacrest?

What a horrible, horrible, image to put into my head.

Geez.

Inside Man said...

he should have taken option number one

Mizchief said...

What am I? Hello, hungry insomniac neighbour at your disposal! I would have loved to insult ryan seacrest.

Next time, knock on my door girl!
Mizchief.

katie's brain said...

OK, you're on woman! I didn't knock because I hadn't eaten all day and I didn't think it would be fair to say, "Hey get a sitter right this minute because I have to eat NOW or I'll collapse!" But I know better now. =)

Anonymous said...

Love your blog hon :-p
You should be writing a column in some magazine, if of course you aren't already.

ciao
Graham

katie's brain said...

Well, thank you kindly Graham. I don't have a column anywhere except here, but if you know of a desperate upstart magazine anywhere, hook me up!