There's no elegant way to end a hiatus

Unless of course your life is written by the same people behind Arrested Development or something, because damn, those guys came back from a hiatus every few weeks with such panache! It's intimidating.

Alas, you fine folks have me, and I have not felt like writing at all lately. I'm finishing the last two months of the degree that I started way back in 2000 or 2001--it's been so long I can't remember when I began. I am so not into school at all anymore. I've stopped caring about grades, I've stopped participating in discussions, and I've even stopped checking out my male classmates, because yes, there's no getting around it--they're all way too young for me. I've sworn off men who don't know what Schoolhouse Rock or ABC Afterschool Specials were. That rule includes men my age--if you don't know what those things are, you were probably raised on a commune or in some weird religious community, and we'd be doomed anyway. I need a man who knows the words to "Conjunction Junction." A girl has to have some standards, right?

You know what sucks about getting writer's block? You think people might miss your blog, but what happens is that all of the people who regularly check it get sick of waiting between posts for weeks and they stop checking. And who can blame them, really? But it's going to take me a while to get back in the swing of things again....so come by! Check! Send me notes like Anna did, and yell at me to get my shit together and write something. I need the pressure. Without you, I'm nothing. Ok, that's not entirely true....without you, my BLOG is nothing. You are the wind beneath my wings, guys.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.