This morning I saw a woman who looked as if she was vying for the front cover of Glamour Magazine's Annual "Don'ts" issue. I have never seen anything like this ensemble before. From top to bottom, every inch of her would have made Clinton and Stacey clutch each other in horror. So, let's start with the top.
Long brown hair with about 5 inches of roots where the blond dye had faded. A big chunk of that hair was gathered at the top of her head in a pink shiny scrunchy that had a trail of pink feathers hanging from it. The rest of the hair hung loose.
On her neck were many strands of genuine plastic colourful mardi gras style beads.
Her chest appeared to have magnets in it, since as she walked she seemed strangely led by her breasts. It was like her breasts had a mind of their own and were taking her somewhere whether she liked it or not. That's the only way to describe this walk. Like the breasts were on a mission and were dragging her along. She had them contained in a VERY low cut t-shirt with some kind of beer logo on it, and on top of that was a black "jacket" that hung to her knees and was made of some kind of mesh netting.
On her hind quarters she was wearing pedal pushers that appeared to be intended for someone at least 4 or 5 sizes smaller. Said pedal pushers were white and covered in huge blue cabbage roses--did I mention the VERY visible pantyline?
Underneath the pedal pushers were black fishnet stalkings. Yes. I'm not kidding.
It's possible her odd walk had a little to do with the shoes she was wearing. Black "leather-look" platforms with big chunky heels (at least 3 inches) on which she balanced precariously. A dainty "gold" ankle bracelet on one leg.
She kept dashing to the curb as if she was going to jump into traffic and waving furiously at cabdrivers whose mouths opened as they drove near--none of them stopped. The well-dressed man next to me at the crosswalk glanced my way and mouthed, "Oh. My. God."
I've never seen anything like it.
5 comments:
I'll have to come back and read this in a bit. I'm in shock you posted twice in a week. Once I recover, I will be back.
The description was so vivid I could actually SEE this woman...YIKES!!
You know, you could have stopped after the shiny, feathery pink scrunchie and that would have been bad enough.
I like that a suit mouthed "oh my god." That was just the cherry on top of that awesomely gawdy fashion story!
Where I live, there seems to be an epidemic of grown men wearing socks with sandals. Guys my age who are coming of age in the metrosexual era. This perplexes me.
Do you recall what kind of beer she had on that t-shirt? My sister lives in your neck of the woods and loves to wear Kokanee stuff everywhere so goes. (*the last sentence is not really true) Does this woman ride your bus? Oh, what's the story with your freaky bus driver? Any new updates?
No recent incidents with him lately, Egan. I still have to take his bus sometimes, but I head straight for the back now.
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