Wednesday, September 28, 2005

An open letter to the motherfuckers at the Royal Bank and Canada Student Loans

Dear Royal Bank Student Loan and Canada Student Loan Centre Motherfuckers,


I am writing to express my dismay and disbelief over the incomprehensible level of incompetence to which I have been subjected by you. I am afraid that you have me a wee bit riled-up. So please, please find it in your teeny-little stone hearts to forgive me for what I am about to say.


Please, don't tell me you didn't receive my fucking faxes that I sent you last week. Don't tell me that my Canada Student Loan was held because I failed to make a payment at the Royal Bank, when some dipshit at the Royal Bank told me outright not to make the payment until I received my Canada Student Loan.

Don't tell me it will take 5-9 business days to process any of this information, since I've been hearing this for 5-14 fucking business days already.

And please, don't you fucking dare tell me it will take 5-7 business days for the Royal Bank to process this shit which I gave them 2 weeks ago, but they apparently couldn't be bothered to look at until yester-fucking-day, and then another 5-9 fucking business days for Canada Student Loans to release the money after they're received information from the Royal Bank!!!!!

GODDAMNIT! I want Supervisors to call me. I want to see some fucking follow-through. I want my bloody money now so I can pay my student fees, pay my rent, drop the class I'm in that I don't want and pay for the one that I do want. I want to stop having to worry about goddamned forms and faxes and sitting on hold for hours at a time listening to elevator music while you people with your heads up your asses tell me fifty different fucking stories!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have any more questions, please contact me. I will be happy to clarify things even further if you asswipes so require.

7 comments:

katie's brain said...

AMEN Lilianne! Also, why are there three branches to deal with? I'm dealing with Royal Bank for an old student loan, BC student loans and Canada student loans, and between the three of them they don't seem to communicate at all! BC student loans has been grabbing over $600 a month from my bank account for four months despite the fact that I have repeatedly given them all the documents they require to prove I'm still in school. It's outrageous.

Gern said...

That's fucking fucked up. Fuckin' A.

Bobby said...

hang in there sweetie. ask them if they need a ID10T form next time you speak to them.

Special K said...

Bureaucrats and banks can suck it.

katie's brain said...

Would you believe things got worse? Not only did they not put my student loan in my account today, they actually TOOK my last $400 out of my account as a payment for my old loan, despite the fact that for the last two months I have repeatedly provided them with all of the documentation they require to prove that I'm back in school and my account should not be in repayment status. I had called them several times in the past month to make sure this exact thing wouldn't happen and was assured it wouldn't. So the poor woman who answered the phone today began giving me some dithering excuse about how computer processing takes time and how they would be unable to return the money to me, and I blew a gasket and started screaming about how they are thieves and liars and that the whole system is designed to make people go insane while they are slowly tortured by being exposed to Michael Bolton ballads while they're on hold. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't effective.

dM3 said...

ffs :-)

Pinterest Failures said...

OH. My. GOD. Reading your blog caused me a rather painful deja' vu a few years back (more than I care to remember) in which I experienced a very similar situation here in the good ol USA. Nice to see these Student Loan People STILL use technology as an excuse (fucking lie) and no one takes accountability.

Stay Strong!